If the walls could talk,
A witness they would make
Of the light and the dark of this small person
who resides within them, from day to daybreak.
They might act as judge to this defendant,
The same old trial underway,
Ask the same old questions,
and face the same denial.
They might note, for the record,
the dark places i fear,
the dreams i have yet to fulfill,
the shadows which a dark ship steer.
They might note how much i failed to trust you,
How i clung to my addictions,
carried my tombstone on my back,
ran to escape my afflictions.
Or they might take into account
the deeper motivations of my acts,
see the light which springs from all of them,
see a soul enrapt
With the gratitude of having known
that even when running from the tide,
these mistakes were learning tools,
these mistakes stopped me from finding a place to hide.
So that when the prosecution rests,
And the jury now is out,
These walls have finally to confess,
That they were always, in fact, right by my side.
8 comments:
Natalie – Some strong testimony on your own behalf! Based on the evidence presented, I believe the jury would return a verdict of “HUMAN!” Which of course is a fine judgment for anyone.
There’s so much to like in this piece. Each stanza is strong and almost tells its own story. My favorite is:
They might act as judge to this defendant,
The same old trial underway,
Ask the same old questions,
and face the same denial
This stanza says so much about life and the circles we turn unknowingly.
Lovely. Keep writing!!
The ending took me a bit by surprise. I liked that a lot.
By the time the downward movement of this culminated in:
They might note how much i failed to trust you,
How i clung to my addictions,
carried my tombstone on my back,
ran to escape my afflictions.
I was dreading what might be next. Brilliantly, though, just when the tension was becoming unbearable, you turned everything by beginning the following stanza with "Or". I still didn't know where this was headed, but it lightened the load just enough. And, like ren.kat, I was still surprised, happily surprised, by the ending.
A good poem. Thanks for sharing it.
hey natalie, i haven't followed the prompt, but the poems i read were quite interesting. A couple from the few i so far read, were dealing with the theme considering the "potentially- talking" walls as cell- walls. In urs i like that they are some kind like what Romans consider about the people are when they are born..."tabula rasa"(i honestly don't know how to write it) which means "blank paper". I like that they are getting formed by what they see in the person living amongst them and they get attributes in occasions... Except for that, i like that there's a stong feeling of consistent contradiction through the lenght of ur poem... I guess, i already analyzed enough, (i hope not more than enough) so i'll just say that i think u get it that i liked ur poem
A witness they would make Of the light and the dark of this small person who resides within them
and
How i clung to my addictions, carried my tombstone on my back
Are just some very lovely phrasing choices you made here. But that second one is simply superb.
Fighter of evil? Tell me more. Heck, there's so much of it today that I feel fighters like us are losing. Nice words.
Thanks rethabile for your comment. When i say i fight evil i think i mean that i see myself facing my own fear a lot, and i am always endeavouring to overcome it and release it from me. A fundamental process in everyone's life i guess. The world around us is our mirror. What we face is ourselves, in reality. And to make that world one which is full of light is my ultimate aim. Thanks again. Natalie
my new blog:
www.vespersescape.wordpress.com
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